Straight Outta Kanto is aware that you freaks love nothing more than destroying treasured childhood memories. In fact, thanks to the advent of such perverse past times on the internet, new words such as “Nightmare Fuel” and “Creepypasta” have now been added to the urban dictionary.
Video games of course are a huge part of many a now-ruined child hood. From online fan stories and theories about The Legend of Zelda, Sonic the Hedgehog and more; the lines between fiction and fantasy blur from lonely online creative writing exercises gone terribly wrong into the realm of bonified urban legend. (The very invention of Slenderman being the prime example of the power of the underground blogging web community.)
However, many will agree that in terms of childhood game based Creepypasta hierarchy, Pokémon sits proudly atop a throne of shattered dreams and broken (cu)bones.
From the “Notorious L.A.V.”, Lavender Town Syndrome through to the more obscure but just as disquieting Lost Silver and Buried Alive, the lust for turning our sweet Pocket Monsters in Under The Bed Monsters is as ravenous as a sailor on shore leave.
One such Creepypasta is “Strangled Red.” The story is a first person diary entry style narrative. Under mysterious circumstances young gamer accidentally comes into possession of what appears to be an altered version of the original Pokemon Red games.
Everything in the game is WRONG. From scrambled graphics to distorted music, and ominous tidings of doom from NPCs, it’s apparent that this young trainer is not a happy Lopunny.
As the story, and game progresses, it transpires that the trainer in this hacked version of Red was once a successful champion whose beloved Charizard “Miki” died during an accident during a routine PokeDex completion trade. The trainer, after a year of mourning, attempts a Pet Semetary style resurrection of poor dead Miki by harnessing the warped power of legendary glitch ‘mon “MissingNo.”
Sometimes “Dead is Better”.
The ending of this Creepypasta is a chilling insight as to why its title is “Strangled Red.” Not one to be read alone at night, and will make you hug your real-life pets a little longer than usual.
This is just one of many Creepypastas out there, do let us know what your favourite one is!
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Straight Outta Kanto is the nerdy nom de plume of international horror-shock musician, illustrator and radio personality Venus de Vilo.
Straight Outta Kanto is a podcast and review blog dedicated to bringing it’s audience the warped and weirdest in nerd culture, nightmare fuel and 90s/00s nostalgia.
Champion of the Shurikon 2018 Pokémon League competition, certified VGC Dragon Gym Leader and CEO of Pokémon Fan Club Ireland, Straight Outta Kanto is an unapologetic otaku and psychotic J-Horror fanatic.